Chapter 2-1
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VOLUME 6
Chapter 2 – Subordinate = “He’s Kinda Like a Piece of Garbage!”
Chapter 2: Part 1A
With Saras in tow, I soon found myself near the East-A region or whatever it was called, but I found myself at a loss for words near the entrance, and came to a standstill.
The density of people here was insane. If we got in a line, we would probably end up moving forward at a snail’s pace.
Similar to as if I was in an arcade, I could hear various music playing out from all sides, and the chorus of human voices around me was more annoying than a thousand cicadas chirping in the summer.
The convention hall was wrapped in a steamy heat that made me want to take off my down jacket, but Saras proceeded to enter without any fear.
“Let’s proceed. Follow me!”
Saras spoke in her usual, commanding tone.
“Ooooooooohhhh!!!” And her Shinsengumi began to push people aside and force their way into the hall.
What a show of force. But this way, we were able to get inside.
I also thrust myself into the crowd, like Moses proceeding into the parted Red Sea.
Where was the target? I moved forward, making sure not to lose sight of the backs of those Shinsengumi jerseys.
It seemed as if things were proceeding without issue.
But then, the Shinsengumi stopped moving.
And pandemonium broke loose.
“T-This is… this isssssssssssss?!?!?!”
“CUUUUUUUUUUUUTEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
“MOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~!!!”
What the hell?! What the hell was going on over there?!
I couldn’t see anything but the backs of other people, but shouting echoed all around me.
“Nyahaha! Would you expect less from a genius like me?!”
… Hm? This voice…
This was the voice of a notorious troublemaker and freeloader at my house. It was Haruna’s voice.
I see. Where there’s trouble, there’s Haruna.
I probably should try to do something here…
Whatever was happening here, it was the fault of one of my house’s freeloaders. As the head of the house, I had an obligation to act here.
Sobered by this odd sense of duty, I brushed aside the people in front of me and walked forwards.
Hnghh.
Aghh.
Mmph.
Why the hell did I have to be suffering through this at the very end of the year?
Was this what it was like trying to push through a completely full train? Nah, here it was like everyone else was moving as one, and the more they did that, the more I was being a pain in the ass.
I felt people push against me, scrape against me, bump into me at all angles. This must be what it felt like to get thrown into a washing machine. I tried to wedge my body in between the people in front of me and move forwards, but I made no progress at all.
I guess I had no choice but to use my zombie powers.
“Sorry~ ~. Sorry~ ~. Coming through~ ~. Sorry…”
I used a bit of force and split the wall of people in front of me, before I suddenly became aware of something odd.
Nobody was glaring at me at all.
This was quite a breach of good manners. I was ignoring the line of people and trying to force myself through, but I didn’t even hear so much as someone clicking their tongue at me.
Rather, everyone’s eyes had contracted into little hearts.
What the hell was going on…?
Well, it’s not like I was going to complain. This was all for the better. I could get through like this.
Although, I don’t know if it was because of the dense crowd, but the air here seemed rather thin…
With great effort I inched forwards, trying to steady my breathing as I parted the wall of people. Until finally, I caught a glimpse of Haruna’s impertinent face.
Haruna was a masou shoujo who had come from the magical world Virie. Just by looking, I’d give a rough estimate of her height at around 1.45 meters. Her most iconic physical trait was a bouncy ahoge that protruded from the top of her head.
Her body was that of a young girl who had yet to develop at all. Her eyes were giant and round like a cat’s. And her mouth seemed perpetually fixed into this saucy little grin.
If she kept quiet, one might think she was just a cute little middle schooler.
The steamy heat of the area was making it quite hot for New Year’s Eve. Maybe that was why Haruna was wearing a camisole as she smacked a banana onto the desk in front of her. (1)
The crowd gathered in front of the sales area was now so thick that I had no idea where the crowd began or ended.
“Only one hundred copies left! Let’s start the auctions at five hundred yen!”
Bang bang bang. Haruna smacked the banana onto the long desk in front of her. Her ahoge bounced happily from side to side. The people around me in black jackets raised their hands one after the other, matching the rhythm of Haruna’s banana drum solo.
“One thousand! One thousand two hundred!”
She was holding a damn auction… that’s why people were all stuck here, squished like pancakes.
I glanced to the side, where I saw some guys reading some doujinshi.
Was that Haruna’s doujinshi they were reading?
“Moeeeeeeeeeeee!!!”
One of the guys reading the books yelled out, a look of ecstasy washing over his face.
I had no idea why exactly, but everyone was stopping next to their booth and shouting “Moee!” Even the people manning the sales booth right next to Haruna were looking at the doujinshi in a trance.
It’s not like I would be complaining if they weren’t causing a problem here, but this ruckus wasn’t making me very happy.
I continued to apologize as I moved forwards, before I finally found myself standing in front of Haruna’s booth.
I had only moved a few dozen meters, but I was completely exhausted.
Was this what it was like during rush hours on the trains? I had to pay my respects here to all those poor salarymen who had to go through that twice every day.
Haruna’s eyes blanked out in confusion at seeing me suddenly appear in front of her.
Like an exhausted boxer, I let my arms limping hang down along my sides before calling out to Haruna.
“Haruna… what… are you doing…?”
I could barely catch my breath.
“What are you getting so worked up over?”
Haruna gave me a daring smirk.
I took a deep breath. Talking to Haruna took a lot of calm and patience.
“Answer my question.”
The ahoge-wearing little girl proudly snorted at me.
“I’m selling stuff! Ayumu, you buy some stuff too!”
“I won’t buy anything. Just stop making such a fuss over here.”
“I need lots of money, ya know!”
“For what?”
“For good lucking guy lace, of course! Duh! Pay attention!”
Mmm, I don’t think I’ve ever understood an answer less than this one in my entire life.
Good lucking… what?
She was probably thinking about doing something strange again. I guess I was a bit curious how lace came into the picture, but…
I honestly didn’t understand about eighty percent of what Haruna did.
It was pointless to try and figure it out too.
“Anyway, stop raising a fuss over here.”
“We’re going to have New Year’s noodles later so you better look forward to it! Nyahahaha!”
It didn’t look like she had any intention of paying attention to me anymore.
I sighed. Sighed and sighed and sighed and sighed.
In any case, I should probably search for the root cause of this disturbance and put a stop to it.
Exactly what was going on here…?
I looked around me.
“T-This is?! Impossible! Something like this…”
I saw a guy in a Shinsengumi uniform pick up Haruna’s book, his body trembling. From that uniform… he was one of Saras’s fans.
His breathing grew coarse as he flipped through the pages.
And then…
“Moeee!!”
He yelled out and fainted.
Hey hey, you okay over there? He didn’t even seem to try and prepare himself for the fall, but just fell flat onto the floor and began to roll around.
I tried to call out to him, but…
“Ehehehehe…”
He was rolling around with a full smile on his face. Like a child.
… Okay, I guess he was fine.
Now that I took a good look around, there were quite a few people acting like that.
Was this why this area was so blocked up?
What the hell was happening here…? Ugh.
“Seems like the moe is too strong and they’re all being burned up by it.”
One of Saras’s Shinsengumi gulped. I noticed Haruna’s book in his hands.
All over the place, people were shouting out “moe” and collapsing to the floor. Seeing this sight unfold around me, I couldn’t help but ask the Shinsengumi next to me a question.
“There’s a lot of vocab being thrown around here I’m not too sure of, but basically, what is ha-”
I turned to look back at him, but he had already fainted.
Honestly, my opinion of this situation was pretty clear and concise:
–
What a bunch of idiots.
–
I decided to test it out though and picked up the sample book in front of me, flipping through it.
T-This was…?!
“Moeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.”
Unable to control myself, I threw my head back.
What a wonderful manga this was. I could feel the word “moe” run not only through my head, but through my entire body.
Moe was engraved into every page… no, every single panel of this cunningly crafted work.
It was borderline pandering in a sense. But either way, it was a truly moe school romantic comedy set in Kyoto.
One might be tempted to call it rather simple, too… but the workmanship was masterful, and all the fat had been cut out.
The sample book also cut out at an incredibly good part.
Nobody could blame me for wanting to know what happened next.
As expected, Haruna was a genius.
When it came to this kind of stuff, nobody could hold a candle to her.
Although, exactly when had she found the time to make something like this?
The quality was rather high for something made off the cuff. This kind of work would be impossible without careful painting of backgrounds and location research.
A wall of people as still lined up in front of Haruna’s sales booth. Although, it would be weird to call this a line. People were fainting left and right like they were at a Michael Jackson concert; it would be impossible to form a line in this chaos.
“Thirty-two hundred!” I heard Saras also join in on the auction in the midst of all that.
Members of her Shinsengumi also were surrounding Haruna’s doujinshi with a bewitched look on their faces.
… What the hell were they doing?
Even though they were in danger of getting squashed into pancakes, they began to crab walk back towards Saras.
“Thirty-five hundred, sold! Bam!”
Bang bang! Haruna smacked the desk in front of her and passed one of her doujinshi to a bespectacled guy.
“Yeaaaaaaaahhhh!!!”
Dammit. He’s so lucky… agh! What am I thinking right now! It was just a random book that Haruna put out, come on.
Haruna stood on top of the desk, beginning to toss the remaining doujinshi down onto the floor like some glorified Edo-period newspaper official passing out special editions.
“Alright! All the rest is part of the splendid Haruna Festival banquet! Go on, pick them up! Pick them up! Nyahahaha!”
This girl was trying to start something again…
“Get one at whatever the cost!”
“All hail Kirara-tan!”
You guys, stop making it worse!
Everyone around me raised their hands up and bounced up and down, like they were at the climax of a live concert.
And everyone who managed to get their hands on one of the doujinshi let out a roar of great ecstasy.
Ugh… those lucky…
Agh! What was I…?!
Staying here too long was dangerous for my sanity. I had to get away… get away right now!
I had confirmed the cause of the ruckus. Everything would probably die down once the book sold out.
And if I stayed near Haruna any more than this, I myself might fall prey to the moe-ness.
There should’ve been one more place where something bad was happening.
I had to go check that place out too.
But, did I have the will to resist? To resist… the moe. The moe that might come attacking me again.
“Yo, Aikawa-kun.”
I heard a middle-aged voice call out to me and I turned around.
And I saw a guy wearing a lab coat.
His chin was covered in a stubble and his eyes looked sleepy. He was lightly lifting a hand to me in greeting.
This person was our class’s substitute homeroom teacher. His true occupation though was being the chieftain of the vampire ninjas, and in Virie he was also called the Demon Baron. He was quite an impressive person.
So, why was a person like that in a place like this…?
“You… what are you doing here?”
I didn’t want to see him here. I sent him my best glare.
“Ahh, so my daughter really wanted this doujinshi here…”
I looked at his shirt sleeves, which were painted red with blood. And then I saw he was holding onto a copy of Haruna’s doujinshi in his hand… ugh, now I’m jealous.
“The chief himself had to come all this way for something like that?”
“Ayaka isn’t considered a full vampire ninja yet. So she has to stay back in the village. Also, all the squads I sent out burned up with moe and completely forgot about their mission.”
I see. So when Saras said her squads had been annihilated, she meant that they had been killed by moe and had forgotten what they were there for. What a useless lot, vampire ninjas…
“Ayaka-san… that doesn’t sound like a very vampire ninja name. Wait… the vampire ninjas that give themselves those weird, cool-sounding names like Seraphim or Sarasvati or Mael Strom… is that because they were otaku?”
“Yeah. And before a vampire ninja is considered an adult, they can’t receive a proper vampire ninja name. And they also can’t leave the village before then.”
So they were stuck in the village. And so they became otaku. And I remember Tomonori had also mentioned something about them having to wear chainmail all day.
“Hm, but Tomonori had said the chief’s daughter was here today or something… ah, could it be that the reason Sera and Saras are here buying doujinshi is because Ayaka-san had ordered them to? And that means Ayaka-san is also in the conservative faction?”
“Yeah. Aikawa-kun is pretty sharp. Kinda like Ariel. Yeah… seems like while I was gone Ayaka has been using quite a bit of authority back in the village…”
“Hm… but I could’ve sworn I saw your daughter around here earlier…”
“You were probably just mistaking her for someone else. Ayaka was still a spoiled kid back then, and that’s why the vampire ninjas split into two… but I’ll make sure she follows our laws just like the other vampire ninjas from here on out.”
“Laws, huh…? You guys have really weird laws though. Like, were you the one who came up with the idea that a kiss with the opposite sex is a marriage contract?”
“Well, that was something I decided after talking with Genkunrou and the others… vampire ninja women are strong, you know. Many of them aren’t married. If we didn’t have a law like that, they’d be tempted to just continue being single. And if we didn’t have other laws to restrict people, then you might see a lot of vampire ninjas start committing crimes… people change when they have power, after all.”
“I admit I’m pretty jealous of the vampire ninja men.”
“Not so fast. Be aware that if they are not married, men cannot suck the blood of anybody but other men. Do you understand? Rest assured that blood from blood banks is quite unappetizing.”
In other words, single men in the vampire ninja clan could only kiss other men and suck blood… wow, how I pity them.
I let out a dry smile, and the Demon Baron also gave me a light chuckle.
“One book left! Who wants it?!”
“Uoooooooooohhhhh!!!”
The waves of excitement were reaching their fevered climax over by Haruna. She was standing on top of the desk, both her hands thrust into the air.
To think that things could’ve gotten even more frenzied…
“As expected from the biggest genius to come out of Virie since Ariel.”
“Yeah. Although she’s also an idiot.”
“Did you look through this earlier?”
The Demon Baron held out Haruna’s doujinshi at me.
“Just a bit.”
“How was it? Were you sucked in by its charm?”
“Hm? Well……… I guess……….”
I couldn’t bring myself to be honest, so I decided to give a really vague response.
“There’re magic used in this book that isn’t even developed back in Virie. Everyone who reads it falls into a trance.”
So, all this fuss was because of Haruna’s magic? Even though she didn’t have any magical energy right now…
“Is there any way to stop it?”
“I mean, it’s not like it’s doing much harm. Actually, everyone seems quite happy about it. But if they could adapt this kind of magic to other purposes, then they would be able to invade the Underworld fairly easily, would they not?”
“That’s quite something. So… did you come here to tell me that?”
I just realized that standing still here and talking like this was pretty rude to everyone else trying to get around, so I started to walk.
The Demon Baron also followed after me.
“No, actually. So, Naegleria Nebiros’s boob- cough hack!”
“Uwah! Don’t spit out blood in the middle of a crowd like this! That’s so rude!”
I pulled the Demon Baron by his hand and slipped out from the crowd.
“Ugh! But boob- cough cough! Can’t stop thinking about- cough hack! I’m getting too exci- cough cough cough! I have to sto- cough hack hack!”
God, how much exactly are you thinking about boobs?! Well, it’s not like I can blame him though. Nene-san’s boobs were explosively huge.
“Actually, I was just looking for Nene-san. But I have no idea where she is.”
I shook my head. But then I stopped in my tracks.
Wait a second. I knew now that all this fuss over here was being caused by Haruna’s doujinshi.
But then, Naegleria Nebiros (aka Nene-san) also had Haruna help out with her own doujinshi.
So, could it be that some weird magic was involved in Nene-san’s doujinshi too?
I had never gotten a chance to see the parts of Nene-san’s doujinshi that Haruna had drawn.
In other words, the other area where there was a big ruckus going on was…… hmm, this was definitely possible.
But, then what should I do?
“Something wrong?”
“Well, I think I might have a bit of an idea where Nene-san might be… right. You have the ability to move from shadow to shadow, right?”
“If you want to take the easy way out here, I can’t really just go along with it. It might’ve only been temporary, but I was your homeroom teacher.”
“You still are, aren’t you?”
“No no, starting from the third school quarter Chris is going to come back. I’m actually here today to negotiate with Naegleria Nebiros, to see if she might consider helping Ariel a bit. But I saw you here before I found her so I wanted to come over to thank you. For talking Chris down like that, you know.”
Helping Ariel… Dai-sensei… and he wanted Nene-san to do it? Hm, that means…
“Are you trying to get her wrapped up in another coup d’état?”
“I’m under doctor’s orders, so I can’t say anything more.”
I had been pleased that the crowds around us were thinning out a bit, but then in front of me I again saw an area where people were flattened like pancakes.
And over there I saw Nene-san and a girl wearing armor selling books.
The girl had silver hair and pale skin. As well as blue eyes. Her name was Eucliwood Hellscythe (short form yuu), and she was the pride and joy of our home, a necromancer who couldn’t take off her plate armor or gauntlets no matter where she went.
So cute.
The bewitching woman next to her was Nene-san. She was always wearing tank-tops and other clothes that left very little to the imagination, but today she was wearing a fluffy turtleneck.
And her breasts… we might be far away and looking at them through this giant crowd of people, but even then they were so incredible that the Demon Baron was in danger of hacking up blood.
So I’ve finally found her. Now all I had to do was say hi and buy a book…
“Ahh, I’ve never actually seen them this close before, but they are quite somethi-… cough cough hack!”
Ugh, there he goes again. Honestly, this was even worse than hanging out with a drunk.
I seem to recall that this guy coughs up blood so much because he had once opposed the queen of Virie.
I should probably make a note to never do that.
I saw a number of people who were yelling about “moe” and collapsing to the ground, just like back at Haruna’s booth.
But, the doujinshi they were looking at was not the same book.
I recognized the cover.
Indeed… this was the doujinshi I helped make. It was Nene-san’s book that depicted the time when Yuu was still in the Underworld.
As I thought, Haruna must’ve done something to that book…
“Cough cough hack hack!”
“Come on, you had to talk to Nene-san, right? Let’s go.”
“Nah, I can’t get any closer. Ugh, those things… they’re just mankillers… cough!”
“Wait. Why the hell did you come here for then?”
“You go talk to her. I’ll just stay here and-… hack cough cough! And I’ll just watch.”
The Demon Baron pressed a hand to his face and headed for the wall.
Wait, was it just me or did he have a nosebleed? I have to say, it was refreshing to see him bleed from an orifice that was not his mouth.
Just like back with Haruna, I parted the wall of people and moved forward.
“My my, if it isn’t Aikawa-kun~~. You came at a good time. A knight in shining armor, you are.”
Nene-san waved at me and welcomed me.
Her breasts bobbed from side to side. Damn, they made that turtleneck look sexy…
And that turtleneck almost looked like they were ready to burst. No wonder people called those breasts “explosive”…
Boy did I feel that explosion coming too. In my loins, I mean.
I went up all the way to the table, when the armored girl held out a memo pad to me.
Help.
I couldn’t feel any emotion in her expressionless face. Her eyebrows didn’t even twitch a millimeter, nor did her lips move at all. But I felt sadness in those words on that memo pad.
This girl possessed such a tremendous power that she couldn’t ever let her voice out.
She couldn’t even show any emotion, but had to live life looking like a doll with her facial muscles locked in that expressionless mask.
After all, she was one who calls death…
It had been around half a year since we had met, and I had found myself bit by bit becoming able to understand her feelings.
“Oniichan, I wanted to see you so bad! Come on, help usss~~. Puhleeeeeze?”
That’s probably what she was feeling, right? What a cute girl. I had to help her right away.
“Sure, I’ll help.”
I answered with a smile and picked up some doujinshi.
Each copy was 500 yen. Pretty cheap…
I ducked under the table and moved over to Nene-san’s side.
“These are selling awfully well, aren’t they? Maybe it’s the part Haruna drew?”
I spoke up to Nene-san as I began my duties as a salesperson.
A customer came up to us looking like a lifeless doll, put a single 500-yen coin on our table, and then picked up a book.
“Thanks~.”
Nene-san smiled and thanked the customer, but the customer didn’t respond.
He just yelled out “moeee~~!!” and collapsed.
“Something feels a bit off today, doesn’t it?”
Nene-san cocked her head to the side.
Because of Haruna, everyone is becoming addicted to the moe.
Oh? So Yuu noticed it too. As expected.
“U-Umm! Are you Nene-sensei?!”
Another guy nervously called out to Nene-san.
It seemed like he wasn’t under the effects of Haruna’s doujinshi. He was acting relatively normal after all.
“Yeah, I am.”
Nene-san smiled in return.
“I’m a huge fan! C-Can I shake your hand?”
“Yup yup yuuup~~.”
Nene-san stood up and enveloped his hand with both of hers.
The guy let out a pure look of bliss. Well, I guess anybody would get weak in the knees if they could shake hands with a girl as cute, beautiful, and sexy as Nene-san.
He bought three copies of Nene-san’s book.
Thank you.
Yuu showed him her memo pad, and shook his hand with her own gauntleted hand.
It seems that as a special treat, people who bought three books could also shake hands with Yuu.
Ugh, now I wanted to buy the books too!
“Why, THANK you.”
I looked at the guy as he took Yuu’s cool hand into his own as I thanked him with the most threatening voice I could muster, my brow furrowing into deep lines. The guy took one look at me and let out a small shriek.
I probably looked like a thug right now.
Honestly, I personally wanted to give him a proper smile and all that, but when I saw him looking so happy after shaking hands with Yuu, my smile just naturally changed into a threatening one.
There were very few things that could make me as jealous as seeing someone else touching Yuu’s cute hands.
We continued like that, the three of us selling quite normally to everyone who wanted one copy of the book.
But, without fail, whenever someone asked for three…
Thank you.
Yuu thanked them and shook their hands. And…
“Why, THANK you!”
Then they found themselves on the receiving end of my threatening smile.
This doujinshi was set in the Underworld, when Yuu was still there.
Yuu probably felt some measure of emotional attachment towards the content.
So, it’s not like I could just tell her to not shake anybody’s hands, and I didn’t want to ask her why she wanted to do something like that either.
In a situation like that, who could blame me for giving off such an threatening smile to people?
Ayumu. Your face looks scary.
“Hmm… I guess I’m just having a hard time not looking scary for some reason…”
“Aaahaha, you’re as strange as always. You look like a wild boar right now, you know.”
“Eh?” Hearing that, I noticed that at some point I had started unconsciously jutting out my chin. I held a hand to my mouth and massaged the tension out of my cheeks.
Okay. I feel better now.
I could go back to happily being a salesperson now.
Although, I had the feeling that even without me Yuu and Nene-san could hold down the fort here just fine by themselves.
“Okaaaay~. Thanks than…. zzzzzzzzzzz”
She fell asleep! She fell asleep with a smile still on her face!
And of course, when the person handing you a book just falls forwards like that, our customer also looked quite shocked. I began to shake Nene-san by her shoulders, partially because I wanted to also reassure our customer.
“Nene-san, Nene-saaan!!”
Nene-san’s eyes opened and she sleepily looked around.
“Agh! That was way too close. I wasn’t sleeping, okay? Umm, so, where were we? Right, how to tell apart the Kudou brothers…”
I see. Nene-san was probably suddenly falling asleep all over the place, so in reality it was Yuu alone who was here selling the books. In that case, I really had to do my best here to help out.
Welcome, everyone~~! One book is five hundred yen~~. Thank you very much~~.
Everything was going swimmingly. I could get through this just fine, I thinkthought, and all while having a perfectly charming smile on my face.
It also looked like Nene-san’s book was going to sell out soon.
Oh? Another guy just bought three copies.
Thank you.
Yuu shook his hand, and his eyes went hazy with happiness.
“Thank you very much.” I also spoke to our customer, but in a cold voice.
Well, at least I didn’t sound as threatening as I did before. I was able to get out a proper thanks this time.
“Aaahahaha. There’s that boar smile again. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something quite like this before. Someone who starts looking like a boar when they get jealous, I mean.”
And Nene-san was laughing at me now. I had furrowed my brow and jut my chin out without noticing it again.
Are you angry? = “Oniichan’s awesome even when he looks scary!”
I was angry…. maybe? I really didn’t understand exactly how I felt right now, so I couldn’t answer her question.
“Ahah, so cute.”
Nene-san let out a happy chortle as she looked back and forth between Yuu and me.
“Please stop teasing me.”
“Zzzzzzzzz…” She completely ignored me and just fell asleep!
At last, we sold our last copy and I breathed a single sigh of relief.
Nene-san hunkered down deep in her chair and let out a nice, long stretch.
It was the refreshing stretch of a person who had just woken up.
Honestly, though, girls stretching was an absolute wonderful sight to behold. They bent their backs and raised both hands up over their head, making their breasts all the more pronounced and beautiful. Also, hearing them going “hnnngh” while they stretched and then listening to them breathe heavily afterwards was so sexy.
Ayumu. Your upper lip is jutting out. = “Oniichan’s pretty cool even when he’s being pervy!”
So first my chin, and now my upper lip? Maybe I had some kind of disease that made me lose control over the muscles on the bottom half of my face?
“Okay, I’m cured now.”
Yuu, her face as emotionless as ever, began to cup and push at Nene-san’s ginormous breasts from underneath.
Ahhh, how soft those things must be. Guhehehehe.
“Pretty sure you’ll never cure something like that no matter how long you live.”
Nene-san shrugged, clearly resigned.
Now that she mentioned it, I noticed my upper lip was jutting out again, and so I held a hand up to cover my mouth.
It seemed that I tended to behave weirdly when I was in front of people from the Underworld. Although, I seemed to be fine with vampire ninjas…
Hm, I guess I have to be more careful from now on.
“Ah, right right. Nene-san, there’s a guy here who wanted to ask you something.”
“Fueh? Who?”
“This guy people call the Demon Baron. He’s also the chief of the vampire ninjas.”
“…. Ah, right right. Eucliwood, he’s one of your friends, yeah?”
Subordinate. = “He’s Kinda Like a Piece of Garbage!”
So he was Yuu’s subordinate? Wow, poor guy… ha ha ha. Being someone’s subordinate even though he always looks so proud of himself and carries around that big title of his… I’ll have to be sure to tease him about it later.
“So what’s Aikawa-kun to you?”
Servant.
…………………….. Okay. Well…………. okay. I tried to cheer myself up with the cute Yuu in my head, who translated that to “He’s my oniichan!” But I just got sadder.
“So, that guy wants Nene-san to help him out with getting rid of the Queen.”
“The Queen, hmm… can we really beat her? I don’t want to get turned into a middle-aged man like Chris.”
“They seem to be laying a few preparations for trying though.”
“Well, I think if it was a one-on-one battle, I’d be able to manage, but… I don’t really wanna go up against all those masou shoujo. That just sounds like a huge pain… but I’ll think about it.”
“Okay, I’ll relay the message then.”
“Yup yuup~.”
Nene-san gave me a quick wink and a chuckle.
W-Wait. Right there in the crowd…
I suddenly caught a glimpse of a little girl wearing a tiara in the middle of the crowd.
Lilia. Was she lost again?
I began to call out to her and walk over, but I tripped. I guess it was a bad idea to suddenly start moving without checking where you were walking…
Bam. Squish.
I was a zombie, so I felt no pain. So when I fell, all I felt was warmth and softness.
“Uwahh. You’re a brave one, aren’t you?”
“Sorry.”
I had buried myself in Nene-san’s bountiful, natural airbags. I tried immediately to get back up while Nene-san softly stroked my head.
It seemed that Nene-san was the type to forgive people no matter what they did.
I honestly would be surprised if I ever saw her get angry.
Premeditated. Guilty.
“It wasn’t on purpose!”
“Yes yes, sometimes guys are just super lucky like this.”
Nene-san smiled at me and pat my head consolingly. It really made me want to just fall asleep right there, but…
“Okay, that’s the end of that. So, what happened? Falling over so suddenly like that…”
Still smiling, Nene-san gently pushed me away from her.
“Ah, I saw someone I knew over there, so I wanted to go see her…”
“Someone you knew?”
I couldn’t see Lilia anymore, so maybe I should look around for her a bit? It seemed like things had settled down over here anyways.
Yuu sat there as silently as always, as emotionlessly as always, with her eyes as expressionless as always, with her eyebrows not twitching in the slightest, with her mouth thinned into a straight line… but she pouted her cheeks a bit.
So cute.
“What are you doing?”
Trying to act jealous.
Yuu’s face went back to normal, but I grabbed her chin and jut it outwards.
“This is how you act jealous.”
Difficult.
“I think only Aikawa-kun does that!”
Nene-san sent me off with a warm smile on her face as I left to search for Lilia.
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES
(1) After this is a line about “banana no uritataki,” referring to a specific way Japanese banana salesmen shouted from stalls to sell their produce. Ayumu makes the joke that uritataki, which decomposed means “sell and hit” probably doesn’t mean what Haruna is trying to do right now. But this is such a weird cultural reference I’m going to omit the line.
(NanoDesu) A Translation of the Kore wa Zombie Desu ka? Light Novel 