Prologue Part 1
Prologue – Whoops. Sorry Sorry. I Almost Fell Asleep There.
Prologue Part 1
The most important thing to have in life is courage… is what I think at least. If you cower in the face of new experiences and can’t take that first step, then you’ll never get anything done.
You might fail. You might regret it. But that’s fine. You might be terrified, but even so, you continue moving forwards. If you don’t experience new things, you won’t be able to feel anything about anything.
Chris, the strongest masou shoujo, had suddenly appeared during our October school festival.
And that title of “strongest” wasn’t just window dressing – a mere zombie like myself couldn’t even hope to touch her.
However, Chris had stolen something precious from me.
It had already been two months since I had decided to pay her back for everything she’d done.
Since then, I had gone through a mixer and a sexual harassment trial… it had been quite an eventful two months. Yes, quite eventful…
In the end, I got two pieces of information. For one, Chris often went to places you would normally find middle-aged men at: oden (1) restaurants, horseracing tracks, etc. Second, if you tickled Chris, she would not be able to move anymore.
But just knowing that didn’t mean I was ready to face Chris.
Today was December 17th, a Sunday, and I was going to meet the “strongest person from the underworld” who might be able to face off with the “strongest masou shoujo.” (2) So, I had caught a train and went to a certain place in the Koto Ward in Tokyo. (3)
I was outside a shabby-looking wooden apartment building, which seemed decades old and looked like it would collapse under the smallest of earthquakes.
The entranceway was surrounded by a concrete block fence which was covered with ivy. I read the words “Sunflower Manor” on the fence in lettering that had been blurred by the rain. That name really felt out of place for this building…
I entered the building grounds, giving a sidelong glance to a rusty mailbox while going up some very creaky stairs. I soon found myself in front of my destination: room 203.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and pushed the doorbell.
I didn’t hear anything. I tried pushing it hard, and then pushing it many times at once, but nothing happened. It looked like the doorbell was broken.
I lightly knocked. Tap tap. No response.
I tried knocking harder. Knock knock. Absolutely nothing.
I wrapped my hand around the doorknob, which had become chilled from the biting winter wind, and tested it. The door was unlocked.
I slowly, slowly opened the door, and saw…
Bompf. Something flew out at me. A very soft something that filled my head with happy thoughts. Indeed, these were breasts.
If you left out the fact that I was dead, I was pretty much a very normal first year high school student, but I also wasn’t the type who cared too much about how big breasts were.
I mean, if you want to call yourself a man, then of course you had to like breasts. I wasn’t any exception to that rule.
However, when it came to how big or shapely they were, I didn’t really care much.
Even small breasts were fine! Is what I thought at least. But my my, this feeling of happiness…
Exactly how long had I stood here thinking about breasts? It was only one moment in real, but it felt like hours had passed by in my head.
How had my brain been reduced to such a state…?
Well, it was because my face was now buried in a set of breasts.
A girl had suddenly come out when I opened the door, and I found myself being pushed back.
Clang! I collided with the rusty railing behind me. It was a flimsy-looking iron railing that looked like it would break under any significant weight, but I managed to wrap my arms around the girl and somehow escaped that fate.
She was probably around 1.6 meters tall (4)… she was a beautiful girl with a soft-looking, well-built feminine body. A tank top snugly clung to her body.
Her long hair hung down to her chest and also seemed to be knotted up in random places. Had she just woken up?
I was hugging her so it was hard to notice, but the only thing covering her underneath was one piece of black underwear… mmmmm…
Those bewitching thighs down there… that plump ass covered by that black underwear… those tight hips and those ripples coming from that snug tanktop… it all gave off quite a lewd impression.
And then there were those gigantic breasts sitting on top of it all. If she moved just a little, those breasts of hers jiggled like they were living creatures. Just beautiful.
Wait! What the hell am I thinking about right now?!
The girl was still in my arms, and all the strength had left her body.
“Are you okay?”
I tried calling out to her, but she didn’t respond. What the hell? What was going on? My heart beat faster and faster.
For now, I carried her back into the room.
My strength as a zombie was the one thing I could depend on, so it was easy as pie to carry one girl.
I saw a kitchen and a bathroom out of the corner of my eyes, but proceeded further in.
It was a Japanese-style room, probably a bit bigger than 10 tatami in area. (5) A little shelf was crammed into the room and filled with manga and a figure collection. There were also manga and plastic bottles scattered all around.
I could tell from the state of this room that the owner wasn’t very good at keeping things tidy. It was like I was staring at the room of my own house’s resident irresponsible idiot, Haruna.
There was a television, but it was off right now. I sat the girl down on the low chair in the middle of the room and tried tapping her lightly on the cheek. At that point, the girl’s eyes opened.
“Fuaaahh~~. Ah, good morninggg…”
“Eh? Ahh, good morning.”
So she really was just sleeping? I watched her give a nice long stretch, her breasts drawing nicely tight… ah, no good no good. I hadn’t come here for that. I wasn’t here to sexually harass anybody!
“Are you Naegleria Nebiros-san?”
“Agh, no no no. Don’t remind me of that name. Nene is fine.”
“Okay. Nene-san, then.”
……………….. And no response. Eh? What? Was she asleep again?
“Fueh~?” She gave me a response like a flat can of cola and looked at me with sleepy eyes.
“Umm, I came here to see Nene-san about something…”
“Ah, okay…” Clunk. Her head flopped down under the influence of gravity.
She’s asleep again! She wasn’t even listening, was she?!
“Ahh, sorry… umm, who are you again?”
“… Um, I think Shimomura told you about me before.”
“Ah, okay okay. Eucliwood’s friend, right…? Did you cut your hair?”
That wasn’t something you asked someone on your first meeting. Had we met somewhere before?
“I haven’t cut it in a while, but… umm, I’m here about Chris, the strongest masou shoujo.”
“Mhmm. Chris, yeah… that rings a bell…” Zzzzzz.
She fell asleep again! “Umm, sorry, but I really want to talk…”
“Ah, right umm… okay, we can talk. You see, the difference between Blue Mountain Coffee and Rainbow Mountain Coffee is-”
“That’s not what we were talking about! Not even close! See, I want to ask you about beating Chris…”
“Okay okay. Chris, right? Umm, I guess if you want to beat her, you’d have to come to me.”
Ohh! That sounded really reassuring!
“Great! Then please help us with-”
Ugh, she’s asleep again! What the hell is up with this girl?! She’s been falling asleep every second!
But seriously, those are some pretty big breasts. I’ve met a lot of big-breasted people already, but hers just took the cake. You could even call her breasts “explosively big,” pardon my French.
“Whoops. Sorry sorry. I almost fell asleep there.”
Nene-san shook her head from side to side trying to wake herself up. Wait… what did she mean almost?
“So, about Chris…”
“Hm? Hm hm? You’re… who are you again?”
… Umm… were we starting over then? Nene-san stood up and walked over to a strange desk that was slightly tilted. She sat down on a swivel chair, the kind you would often find in offices.
“So, I think Anderson-kun told you about me…”
“Ah, right right. I remember. Aikawa Kinya-kun, right?” (6)
“It’s Ayumu. Aikawa Ayumu. Do I really look like Kinkin?”
“Ah. You’re here for help with Chris, right?”
“Yes!” Finally the conversation was getting somewhere.
“Ah, don’t worry about that. Everything’s gonna work out. Look forward to it~~.”
“Everything’s gonna work out… so, you’re going to fight for us?”
“Hm? Me? No no, that would be really bad.”
“Why? You can win, right?”
“If I win, then Virie and the Underworld are going to go to war again. Are you okay with that?”
I see. If the supposedly strongest person from the Underworld fights with the supposedly strongest masou shoujo, then that would be interpreted as an act of war. And… that war would happen in this world.
Nene-san probably saw the frustrated look on my face and guessed what I wanted to say. She gave me a smile.
“Yup. But the solution to that problem will be coming soon enough, so could you just wait a bit longer?”
I see. Nene-san didn’t have to be the one to fight, but there was someone else. And she would introduce me to this other person who could beat Chris. To think things could be going this smoothly…
“Got it. I’ll wait here then until that person comes.”
“Okay~~. Umm, there’s also something else I want to ask you…”
“Help me. With this draft.”
Nene-san handed me a bundle of draft papers as she said that.
I saw manga drawn on the pages. It looked like a fantasy manga with a girl clad in armor as the protagonist.
“Help…? Wait, are you telling me to draw manga…?”
“Zzzzzz…” Nene-san opened her mouth wide, using the back of her chair as a pillow as she began to tilt backwards…
“Wake up, dammit!”
(1) A Japanese stew using a soy-based broth.
(2) As usual, I’ll footnote this once per volume. Masou shoujo is literally “magical clothing girl,” and is obviously a pun on the standard “mahou shoujo,” or “magical girl.”
(3) The Koto ward contains part of Odaiba, which is the island on which Comic Market takes place.
(4) That’s around 5 feet 2 inches in stupid units.
(5) That’s around 175 square feet in stupid units.
(6) A Japanese Actor. Nickname is “Kinkin.”